And do adults just learn to play the most rediculous, repulsive games; My hatred for Normalism.

I spend most of my time feeling frusterated and anxious and never knowing why. I think of myself as quite a pacifist so I've been thinking that maybe I bottle up all of my anger causing myself to rot from the inside out. I have no problem reacting to anyone in my family if they piss me off, but otherwise I usually ignore anything and everything that bothers me to avoid more social awkwardness than I already have. I also think that the world is, in nice words, a big shit hole, so I find it useless to let any little thing weigh too much on my mind, causing me to feel neutral about small details, making me a very emotionally numb person. As many opinions as I seem to have about anything, I make most of them up just to be able to HAVE an opinion. In reality, I really couldn't care any less about 95% of the world.
Anybody who knows me knows that I'm weird. When I grow up, I WILL have a clothesline and a pet pig/llama/cow etc. and everything I have "control" (notice it's in quotes; no matter how much you would like to/think you do, you will NEVER control another living thing completely, especially a person.) of will have total freedom. Living things need freedom. Real freedom; a personal freedom that comes with personal consequences and is not, under any circumstances, interfered with. I decided I hated people a long time ago, but I really can't stand "normalists." Normalists are moral rule followers, and I believe there are more of these types of people than any other in the world. Normalism is like a culture or a lifestyle....or a cult. Normalists have normal, steady jobs, and normal families; ones where childen are inferior and expected to grow in the direction of their parent's normalist wishes, and get good grades (for their normalist job, of course, which will be needed for their normalist purchases and normalist lifestyle) and have normalist friends and have a perfectly planned normalist future. I HATE NORMALISM. I want to actually live life, one big adventure, full of traveling and REAL learning and experiences, and strange or different ways of living, full of struggles and feelings. Normalists harshly judge anything that is different than their lame normalist ways. Life should be LIVED. I've decided that it's not bottled up anger or depression thats making me feel trapped in a life I don't want to live. It's because I'm litterally trapped in the boring, oppressing, understimulating, normalist life, and I'm too young and restricted to do anything about it. I want and need to live somewhat on the edge. (not ON the edge like some brainless daredevil which I certainly am not, but somewhere where I could have a nice view of it.) I don't want to be a normalist trapped in pathetic guidelines and "right & wrong" rules and life boundaries that you don't set for yourself. Normalism is a disease, and I've decided it's my main reason for hating the world-It's polluted with normalism bullshit.